Minimum Safe Distance

I'm Riff. I'm a writer for a popular online game called Kingdom of Loathing. This is my blog. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

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Sun Jan 23
Cindy: “Man, sorry I screamed like that, mister. I’ve been kind of  jumpy recently, what with being in the middle of a war zone with the  possibility of psycho raiders sneaking around, so when you stepped out  of the shadows like that, I over-reacted. It kind of looked like you had  a gun or something in your hand.”
Man: “Ha ha! Nope, just this briefcase. Sorry to startle you!”
Cindy: “And here I swore I wasn’t going to become a shrieking damsel in distress. How embarrassing!”
Man: “Nah, don’t worry about it. I mean, if you knew what I had inside the briefcase, you might feel more justified!
Cindy: “What? What does that mean? …What do you have in that briefcase?”
Man: “A giant hunting knife, and my ear collection. Wanna see?”
Janet: “Oh my gosh! A psycho!”
Guardbot: “Is-it-possible-for-robots-to-pee-themselves-query?”
Cindy: “I’ve forgotten what this guard dog’s name is, but quick! Sic him!”
Billy: “I think it was Gilbert.”
Cindy: “I thought Gilbert was the cat?”

Cindy: “Man, sorry I screamed like that, mister. I’ve been kind of jumpy recently, what with being in the middle of a war zone with the possibility of psycho raiders sneaking around, so when you stepped out of the shadows like that, I over-reacted. It kind of looked like you had a gun or something in your hand.”

Man: “Ha ha! Nope, just this briefcase. Sorry to startle you!”

Cindy: “And here I swore I wasn’t going to become a shrieking damsel in distress. How embarrassing!”

Man: “Nah, don’t worry about it. I mean, if you knew what I had inside the briefcase, you might feel more justified!

Cindy: “What? What does that mean? …What do you have in that briefcase?”

Man: “A giant hunting knife, and my ear collection. Wanna see?”

Janet: “Oh my gosh! A psycho!”

Guardbot: “Is-it-possible-for-robots-to-pee-themselves-query?”

Cindy: “I’ve forgotten what this guard dog’s name is, but quick! Sic him!”

Billy: “I think it was Gilbert.”

Cindy: “I thought Gilbert was the cat?”

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